35 pounds — and still going!

6 weeks ago, if you told me I’d be 35 pounds lighter, I’d tell you that’s impossible.  I was so desperate to get healthy and lose weight.  I tried so many different things — medicine, exercise, diet.  Nothing was working.  I was gaining and gaining and gaining.  I started getting really angry with food.  I didn’t want to eat, because I didn’t want to gain.  But, even when I didn’t eat, I’d gain!

Well, 35 pounds later and I’m finally on a good road to get to my goal weight.  That road means another 65 pounds, but I feel that’s totally attainable.

Lots of folks are asking what I’m doing to lose weight.  And, really, it’s nothing special.  I’m calorie counting.  I just started exercising last week.  My body was still VERY weak from my lupus flare-up, so Ryan and I decided to wait until we lost at least 20-30 pounds before doing any real exercise beyond normally routine.

Last Thursday, I took a water aerobics class with my aunt.  It was a great option for me, since it’s low impact.  And best part?  It was SUPER fun!  So, we attended another class on Saturday.  Ryan and I enjoyed going to her gym so much — we joined!  We’re now members of the YMCA.  Yes, yes, sing all you want…but it’s actually a really great gym.  And, other than a bible by the front door, I don’t feel like the religious aspect is going to be an issue for me.

Ellie has enjoyed her two stays in their child care program.  They have large rooms full of books and toys with an ample staff of care takers.  This Saturday, they didn’t want to let Ellie leave.  They told us she was very helpful and very sweet.  Apparently, she was cleaning up the messes the other kids were making.  Not surprised, since we always make her clean up her toys and books here, as well.

Another perk of joining is that we love their outdoor pools!  Ellie really enjoys being in the water.  She also loves sitting on the edge of the pool and kicking.  I taught her all about the fun of splashing.  (Especially splashing other people!)

So, all in all, things are going well.  I’m excited to get to 50 pounds lost.  Not sure why, but that’s a big milestone for me.  Maybe because it’s my halfway mark?  Or perhaps because that will be the lightest I’ve been since giving birth to Ellie.  I’m really excited to see that number on the scale.  Until then, I’ll keep doing what I’m doing — and won’t worry too much about what  the scale says.

20 pounds…and counting!

So, blogging hasn’t been on my agenda recently.  Well, not for my personal blog anyway.  And while I have a lot of catching up to do, I figured I’d start of with something simple.  An accomplishment.

Recently, my bff got married.  And I had so much anxiety about her wedding day.  I tried everything I could to lose weight.  Diets, starving, constant exercise, medicine from the doctor.  You name it.  And I kept gaining and gaining and gaining.  And I got more and more stressed.  I didn’t understand how this was happening.  How could I eat so healthy, exercise daily and GAIN WEIGHT?

While at her wedding, I met a lovely friend of hers.  And she had recently lost 30 or so pounds.  I was in awe.  I wanted to try the diet she was on.  When I found out it was a cleanse, I remember reading about a cleanse on a Lupus forum that was recommend to help get lupies like me out of a flare up.  So, I chatted with her about the process and her weight loss journey.  And then she said something that really made sense.  Maybe I’m holding onto my weight because of other trauma.  She was totally right.  I was.  I never really allowed myself to mourn all the loss I experienced last year.  So, I let it go.   It’s not forgotten, but I forgave myself for wanting to move on — and the weight has been flying off.  I visited my Nanny for the first time since she passed.  I mean, I talk to her every day…but I never visited her crypt.  I just couldn’t.  Visiting her meant this was all real.  My best friend was gone and she wasn’t ever coming back.  Seeing her and putting my hand near her and letting Ellie give her a kiss — it was so needed.  I needed to do that.  I needed to show Nanny I was OK.  And I needed to tell myself that it’s OK that I’m OK.

I started this weight loss journey on May 22nd.  And I’ve lost 20 pounds so far.  All the clothes I bought are loose, which is a blessing and a curse.  Thankfully, most of the items I bought will work even when I’ve lost another 20 pounds.  Everything except the jeans.  But, what can you do.

Ryan’s lost 10 pounds so far, as well.

We’re just calorie counting right now.  Eating healthy, tasty food and making sure to eat less calories than what our bodies burn each day.  Super simple, straight forward and delicious.  I had my wisdom teeth pulled out, so it helped with the craving portion of that first week.  It was perfect timing.  Best part?  I feel better.  My lupus flare up has ended!

I have 78 more pounds to lose.  That sounds like a lot.  And it is.  But, I finally feel mentally ready to tackle it. I know it is possible.  And I know it will take some time.  But…it’s worth it.